· Short Jokes
o Man 1: My son is not listening to anything I say.
o Man 2: Is he so adamant?
o Man 1: No, he is deaf.
· What do you call a deeply burnt food item in your lunch that is not recognizable?
o UFO: Unidentified Fried Object.
o Girl 1: Oh I am doomed! That's my husband coming with my lover!
o Girl 2: I was about to say the same-thing too!
· Man to miser
o Man to miser: Why do you always remove the batteries from the clock and keep them outside?
o Miser: I want to extend the battery life and hence I put them in the clock only when I want to see the time.
· Husband and Wife
My wife always told me that if I wanted breakfast in bed, then I would have to sleep in the kitchen.
o Husband: Do you know that John who lives next door has two girlfriends unknown to wife.
o Wife: Who is the other one?
· Silly Amy
o Teacher: "Amy, what do you call the outside of a tree?"
o Student: "No idea miss"
o Teacher told angrily: "Bark, Amy".
o Amy: "Bow Wow Wow Miss"
· Sick and Silly PJ
o Teacher: How many letters are there totally in "A.B.C.D"?
o Student: 4
o Teacher: I meant the complete set, not just "A.B.C.D"
o Student: 52
o Teacher: What?! How?
o Student: Lower case 26 and Upper case 26.
· From the mouth of kids
o Girl: Mom, today the teacher beat me for something that I didn't do.
o Mother: That's very bad of your teacher. What was it that you didn't do?
o Girl: The homework.
· Months of the year
o Teacher: What is the first month?
o Student: January
o Teacher: What is the second month?
o Student: February
o Teacher: What is the tenth month?
o Student: Delivery
· Employee, Boss and Office
o Interviewer: Do you think you can handle a variety of work?
o Candidate: Yes I think so, I have worked in 10 different places in the last 3 months.
o Employee: I got to have salary increment. Three other companies are after me.
o Boss: Really? Which are the three companies?
o Employee: The electric company, the telephone company and the gas company.
My boss walked past my desk and asked me: "Why are you not working?"
I replied "Because I never saw you coming Sir".
Puzzle
1) Car and motorcycle, which more heavy?
2) Variety of trees, which tree is benevolent?
3) Are you genius? Now calculate, five Chinese minus three Indian, so what?
4) What are the things that go up and never go down?
5) If you find corpse of human and carcass of animal, which one you will prefer to close first?
